CAT
by Ferocia
Summary: Even a Shinigami gets bored after a while. Inspired by the numerous fanfictions on the internet, our lovely God of Death decides to send the deceased Akatsuki, and the poor souls sealed inside of him, off as cats into the human world for his personal entertainment. Needless to say he didn't really give said souls much of a choice, but really, who could argue against a God?
1. Shinigami Are Dickbags

_No, this will not be your typical Akatsuki kitten story._

_Oh, the humor will be there. The pairings will be there. The logic will be absent. But perhaps not in the way you'd expect. _

_Well, I'll tell you at least this much: this won't be taking place in our world. Rather, a Future Konoha world._

_We're starting off with a few pairings, actually: MinaKushi, NaruHina, ShikaTema, InoCho, SakuSai, SasuOC (OC in this case will be deceased). If you don't like some of these pairings, don't worry about it, they'll barely be shown. Except for MinaKushi, but if you don't like that then, well, there's something seriously wrong with you. _

_Summary: Even a Shinigami gets bored after centuries of nothingness in the afterlife. Inspired by the numerous fanfictions on the internet, our lovely God of Death decides to send the deceased Akatsuki, and the poor souls sealed inside of him, off as cats into the human world for his personal entertainment. Needless to say he didn't really give said souls' much of a choice, but really, who would argue against a God?_

_Giant thanks to my Beta Reader, Cloud Traveler! She has some amazing Akatsuki stories herself, I highly recommend them! A million thanks for helping me out, Cloud-sensei!_

_Disclaimer: I own nothing but my own Original Characters. Everything else in this story belongs to Masashi Kishimoto._

_Spoiler Alert: This story contains huge spoilers, so don't read unless you caught up with the manga!_

_Keep in mind that this story may be completely AU now, seeing as how... well, Orochimaru completely messed up the Shiki Fuujin..._

_Well, here's the fic. Enjoy._

* * *

**C.A.T.**

Chapter I  
_Shinigami Are Dickbags_

The Shinigami was bored.

Oh, he used to be the stuff of legends. He used to be the boogeyman parents told their children about so that they would behave—thus ensuring said children to go knocking at their parents' bedroom door every night because the Shinigami might be hiding under their bed, waiting to steal their souls away and devour them.

Tch, silly humans. They truly were dim-witted little creatures.

Though, the God supposed there were always exceptions. Take the humans sealed within him, for example. The first one to make a contract with him had been the leader of a prominent village; the Yondaime Hokage of Konoha, Minato Namikaze. The man had accepted his fate at first, but as time went on, the Shinigami could feel him becoming restless. It created an annoying feeling in the pit of his stomach, tugging at him through his chest and so the Shinigami decided to talk to the human every now and then; if the man went insane he might decide to start clawing at his insides, and the Shinigami doubted that would at all be a pleasant experience. He learned of the human's hopes and dreams, and in turn, showed him glimpses of the material realm every now and then.

Years passed—only mere minutes for a deity—and three more joined them. Three more Hokage and a bundle of malicious chakra. Well, at least the Shinigami didn't have to entertain the blond human anymore. A few short years after that, two more joined them. One of them, an arrogant man with cursed eyes, fumed for ages at his defeat—and at his reunion with the first two Hokage, his mood only became worse. The other, apparently acquainted with the Yondaime Hokage, had sacrificed himself to stop this madman. Even so, the six victims of the Shiki Fuujin grew tired of each other after a while, as did the Shinigami, what with all the noise they made inside of him.

The afterlife itself was a rather bland realm, consisting of vast meadows and plains of wandering souls, some temporarily stuck in their own little nightmare because of their previous vile actions and waiting to be purified by the Shinigami, others having led good lives and thus were waiting to be born anew in the material world and be reincarnated. Needless to say, for the bad souls, the purification process was… painful, to say the least.

Of course, the Shinigami had soon grown bored of his realm—and grew curious to another dimension. It was a world well outside of his jurisdiction, but he didn't particularly care and figured a peek wouldn't hurt. Summoning a mirror from the ground as he stood in one of the countless fields that graced the afterlife, he watched the other universe through the glass as the mirror had turned into a window.

At first, the much advanced technology drew his attention, and he kept watching and watching as his minions took care of his regular duties. Bit by bit, he found out about this other world, the Advanced World, he called it. Their technology and knowledge was indeed leaps and bounds ahead of his own, though it seems morals and ethics had faded as well. Crime, greed, other sins and death were far more rampant, and some parts of the world were even _dying_. He was fascinated with this new universe, but after a while, something interesting caught his attention. It was a small book–depicting shinobi of his own realm on the cover. So the Shinigami came to know that they, and their entire universe, were creations of a human in the Advanced World. It took him a while to come to terms with this, knowing he was but a mere creation, but the Shinigami was a capricious being and soon stopped caring about this. In fact, he delved deeper into this little piece of information.

So deep, in fact, that he discovered the wonders of a thing called "fanfiction".

There were stories of all kinds and manners, though _very _few involved the God of Death personally, he was still amused by the many stories about the shinobi currently inside of him and a few he'd been keeping an eye on.

This is how he stumbled upon a variety of stories which involved the infamous criminal organization, Akatsuki, and the process of them turning into felines and handing them over to clumsy teenage girls.

Never had the Shinigami laughed louder in his entire existence.

And that is when the most entertaining idea of all had struck him.

* * *

Madara Uchiha was still furious.

Well, that was an understatement, really.

Any attempt from Hashirama Senju to shut him up or at least calm him down failed dramatically and only served to increase his ire, until the Shodai Hokage got the hint and left him alone while he brooded in the corner in the dark belly of the Shinigami, sending glares that would've instantly killed Kakashi Hatake had the man not already been dead. The Fourth Shinobi War had resulted in a loss. His plan had failed. Obito Uchiha had betrayed him.

Now he was stuck for an eternity in a dark room with the man who'd snatched the Hokage title away from him, his idiotic brother, his idiotic brother's even more idiotic student, and the bastard that had sealed him with the Shiki Fuujin.

The only one who did not completely piss him off was the Yondaime Hokage, but oh, it wouldn't be long until Madara found a reason to hate the Namikaze as well.

This went on for a while—the occasional fight or argument taking place—until they all grew tired of it and the space they would be stuck in _forever _grew silent.

Madara figured it wouldn't take long until their sanity slipped away. In fact, after a long time (he didn't know how long since it was impossible to keep up) he already felt the urge to try and claw his way out, his left eye twitching at both silence and conversations taking place around him. The worst of it all was that Hashirama was still under the illusion he was simply _misguided_, and tried to have some sort of heart-to-heart with him. When Madara was in a good mood, he'd sneer an insult at him and Hashirama would sigh and turn away. When he was in a bad mood, he'd simply stare and see Hashirama look at him a little worriedly while the Senju no doubt questioned his sanity when seeing the blank stares. No, he was still sane. He just wanted to be left alone.

"Just give up, brother. Let him drown in his own misery." Tobirama once told his older brother, shooting an annoyed glare at the Uchiha.

Instead of the wall, Madara considered clawing through _him _instead.

None of the others spoke to him much. Namikaze was mostly around the Sarutobi brat and the silver haired bastard that had sealed him—though from their occasional glances Madara suspected they were waiting for him to have some sort of mental breakdown. Tch, as if he'd ever sink that low.

Then, at one day, and he couldn't tell what day it was, something strange happened. The most blinding radiance fell down on them from above and for a second there was nothing but the white, almost scorching light. They couldn't feel, hear or move for that matter, as suddenly the ground beneath their feet disappeared and they were floating. When their vision slowly returned to them, the light lessening bit by bit, they found themselves standing in what seemed to be an endless field full of flowers, confronted with the being that had previously been their, well, confinement.

Did this mean freedom at last, or was it a cruel joke of the Shinigami standing in front of them? While the scenery around them was one Madara had nearly forgotten after all that time surrounded by black, his mind told him to keep focusing on the God of Death whose smirk unsettled him.

That was, until he finally noticed the _new _faces around him.

* * *

The Shinigami was highly amused at the flabbergasted faces and the wide eyes as he looked at the souls he'd gathered for his little experiment. From the Akatsuki, he hadn't gathered _everyone_: some were still in the process of being purified for their evil deeds, and other simply weren't interesting enough. At least, from the Akatsuki, he'd picked Nagato Uzumaki, Konan, Kisame Hoshigaki, Deidara, Itachi Uchiha and Hidan—who'd just about completed his purification process. His sins had been washed clean, and most of his memory of the crimes he'd committed were erased. Deidara had gone through the same process, though his crimes had been less severe and so he'd been relatively quick with being purified.

Kakuzu, on the other hand, was _still _not done. The rest of them had all been at peace when they'd died or had redeemed themselves when they'd been humans, and so had retained their memories and had not gone through the purification. There was also Sasori of the Red Sand, but the Shinigami didn't find him very interesting, and Obito Uchiha annoyed him. Orochimaru disgusted him, and according to these "fanfictions", Yahiko wasn't part of the Akatsuki for some reason and so the Shinigami had let him rest and be reincarnated again.

Now, next to those Akatsuki members, there were also the people whose souls he'd devoured and who had all been stuck inside of him. The Shinigami thought to add them since he got sick of having these little creatures in his body, causing a ruckus or damaging his innards.

He had, however, taken out one special little soul who wasn't otherwise included in the "fanfictions". Apparently, since a huge genre had always been romance, and a rather popular pairing was that of Minato Namikaze and Kushina Uzumaki, he'd been oh so merciful enough to add her as well. Of course, the minute the dazed woman spotted her husband, she exclaimed his name and threw herself into his arms without a second thought.

The Shinigami had always been fascinated with such human bonds—love was the strangest force he'd yet encountered and had no understanding of. Humans were often so fickle; their lives far too short for them to reach any sort of enlightenment of the world around them, and yet, this thing called "love" always had some sort of lingering effect on the living, even if said lovers themselves were dead. Their son, Naruto Uzumaki, was the best example of this. His parents' love had gotten him far, even if they'd been long gone.

Now, after pondering this for a moment, the Shinigami turned his attention to the flustered humans who were all no doubt wondering how and why they'd suddenly been summoned here.

Some started talking to each other, expressing disbelief or confusion, and the God of Death quickly decided to break them up.

"**Mortals!"**the Shinigami spoke, its deep voice reverberating through their very bones and sending a collective chill down their spine. **"Some of you have been trapped inside of me for quite some time now, never aging and always bothering me–your poor host–with your trivial fights and meaningless arguing. Others have been wandering around these plains for years, trying to find absolution. I have proposition for all of you." **

"We're dying of suspense." Kakashi Hatake responded dryly, though even with the mask his bemusement at the situation couldn't be concealed.

"**I will allow you to begin anew, though I cannot guarantee how you will start your life. You may become mere ants, you may become humans once again, but that is up to fate."**

Of course he didn't mention that he _himself _was one of the Gods who could control that very same fate.

"You're fucking with us, right?" Hidan exclaimed with wide eyes. "I don't want to turn into a goddamn ant!"

"Didn't you listen, idiot? He said it was up to fate, hm." Deidara told him as he rolled his eyes.

"That's fine and all," the Nidaime Hokage interrupted with a contemplative frown, "But where is Saru?" Ah, so he'd noticed that the Shinigami had not included the old man.

"**He was at the end of his lifespan when he was sealed. I took mercy on him and allowed him to be reincarnated."**

That, and since (like mentioned before) there was often romance involved in these "fanfictions", the Shinigami didn't think it would be fitting to add an old man to the equation.

"What?! So some old fart gets to be reincarnated and we don't?! That's bullsh–" Hidan finally stopped his yammering when the Shinigami glared at him for a moment. He did not take mortal insolence very well.

"**If you do well, I might allow you to reincarnate as well."** the Shinigami then taunted.** "On the condition you don't stray too far away from each other. It would be too much of a bother tracking you down one by one."**

The humans, of course, didn't have another option but agree. It was either that, or be stuck in the afterlife for as long as the Shinigami wished, which wasn't a very alluring option.

"Fine!"

"Alright."

"I accept."

"Very well."

When each of them had agreed, the Shinigami's smirk grew wider, and he snapped his fingers.

The twelve humans vanished into thin air before they even realized what had happened.

* * *

Minato Namikaze wasn't quite sure what to think of this new situation he'd been thrown into, but of three things he was absolutely certain.

Firstly, he was a cat. Well, a small cat. A kitten, most likely.

Secondly, it was raining.

Thirdly, wherever he was, it was loud and crowded with voices.

He blinked, his vision far sharper as the slightest motion in his peripheral vision was enough to distract him completely. His sense of smell and his hearing had increased greatly, though he'd evidently shrunken in size and stature—not to mention that it was raining, and also, _he was a cat_.

Why was he a cat?

The whole experience was rather disorienting and his head was spinning with all these new sensations thrown at him from all sides at the same time. His foggy memory slowly clarified as he vaguely remembered what had happened. Familiar and foreign faces, a seemingly endless meadow, the deal with the Shinigami, Kushina… Kushina–!

Then, as he thought about his wife who'd clung to him so hard he'd barely been able to breathe, he finally noticed he was inside of a box. He blinked, his widened blue eyes staring down at his paws. His fur was the color of his hair, and he sighed—or wanted to. Instead, a loud meow escaped his lips and he nearly winced at the sound.

He'd never much thought of himself as a cat person, so being brought back as one surprised him, but he supposed the decision had been out of his reach.

Movements beside him distracted him instantly as he felt someone pushing against him. He quickly turned his head and stared into two, large, dark blue cat eyes, surrounded by bright red fur.

"_Kushina?"_ He was startled when his voice didn't actually speak aloud, but resonated through his mind. He was even more startled when the other cat responded.

"_M-Minato?"_ he heard her voice question him in his mind, the dark blue eyes wide in shock. _"W-what… what happened?" _

"_HEY, stop shoving me you piece of shit terrorist!"_

"_What are we doing in a box?" _

"_I wasn't shoving you, crazy psycho!"_

"_You two. Shut up." _

"_Eh?! Who the hell are you, huh?!"_

"That _would be Madara Uchiha."_

"_AND WHO THE HELL ASKED YOU?!" _

"_Wow, Kisame. I could've sworn you'd be brought back as a shark, hm."_

"_And you a little birdie, Deidara-_chan_." _

"_Bastard! Don't you–"_

"_ENOUGH ALREADY, OH MY GOD! WILL YOU PEOPLE SHUT UP, I CAN'T EVEN HEAR MY OWN HUSBAND, 'TTEBANE!" _Kushina screeched in Minato's ear while she was screaming at the others behind them, and Minato flinched away at the sudden eruption of noise, bumping into a silent, entirely silver cat with dark eyes sitting next to him. He blinked, presuming this silver cat was probably Kakashi. There was a silence among the twelve cats for a moment._ "Sheesh." _

"_In any case, we need to get out of this box." _ Tobirama stated clearly, and there was another explosion of noise and arguments—accompanied by loud mewls and growls and hissing and even clawing in some instances. Minato and Kakashi, in the meantime, looked around. They were near an alleyway, under a bench and thus shielded from the rain. Konoha looked a little different. The buildings had grown taller, more modern, though most of it was still largely the same. People passed by without seeing them, until their noises grew so loud, a pair of tiny legs finally stopped and turned to their direction. The most hotheaded people of their bunch (Hidan, Deidara, Kushina) didn't notice and kept on meowing and growling, until the child, hidden under a bright red raincoat, bent down and looked under the bench.

A pair of almond shaped, white eyes with a tinge of lavender stared curiously at the human-transformed-felines as all noise faded away and they collectively froze in their wet little cardboard box. The child's eyes—Minato had no doubt this child possessed the Byakugan and was hence part of the Hyūga clan—widened. The remaining two Hokage and several others had also noticed this.

"Oh!" she gasped in surprise—long, red locks of straight hair nearly touching the ground as she got on all fours and pulled their box out from under the bench. The Yondaime thought this was odd; he'd never seen red hair before in the Hyūga clan.

"_What the hell? Put us down, stupid kid!"_

"_Idiot! Stay quiet, she might bring us somewhere warm, hm!" _

"Poor things. Did someone abandon you here?" she asked with a sad expression, sympathy glistening in her eyes, while the cats were somehow not getting soaked. Minato looked up as a blue shadow was hovering over them, and saw an umbrella, which explained the not-getting-soaked part. The child was holding the box with one hand and the umbrella with the other. She was quite strong, considering there were twelve kittens stuffed into one box like that. Kushina started purring as she cuddled up more against her husband while staring up curiously at the little girl. She had fair skin and seemed to be around the age of ten to possibly twelve. Some of the facial similarities to Kushina were almost eerie, such as the shape of the eyes, the thin eyebrows and soft jaw-line.

"Satomi-chan," a woman's voice then called, distracting the little girl and the boxed kitten-humans for a moment. Satomi turned to look to the left, and the kittens saw a woman approaching with long, soft dark blue hair and also seeming to be in possession of the Byakugan. She had a feminine build with a voluptuous bust and a friendly face.

"Mother, look! I found these poor kittens in a box. Someone must've dumped them there." Satomi held up the box of kittens in front of her mother.

"_PUT US DOWN, DAMMIT!" _Hidan yelled irately, to which Kushina smacked her tail in his face. _"What the hell, you damn bitch?!" _

"_You're so loud, shut up!" _

"Oh, how sad. They look adorable." The Hyūga woman then mused, picking Minato up out of the box who, despite how weird and annoying it felt being handled like that, remained perfectly still and instead looked curiously at the lady. "They have such odd colors."

"Can we take them home? Please? At least for one night?" Satomi pleaded, obviously feeling quite sorry for the shinobi. The lady thought about it for a moment, and most of the kittens in the box were wise enough to stare pleadingly at her with big, sad eyes—though some refused and pretended not to care, like Madara and Deidara—and the woman sighed.

"Alright, but only for a night. Here, let me carry them." the lady said, gently putting Minato back next to Kushina and taking over the box from her daughter with one hand, also holding a pink umbrella up with her other hand. This way, at least, the people in the box got a much better view from their surroundings. From the cold weather and the leafs falling down, Minato deduced quickly that it was probably near the end of the year. He raised his head out over the box, trying to see the Hokage Mountain. He saw six heads.

"_Kushina, look!" _Minato exclaimed, tearing Kushina away from the cat fight (literally) that had been about to take place between her and Hidan.

"_What? What?!" _It took her a while to see what he was staring at, but then she gasped when seeing her son's face carved into the mountain. _"He did it! Naruto did it, 'ttebane!" _

"_Heh, quite some time must've passed." _Kakashi added, then looking up to the woman carrying them. _"From the looks of her, he must be around his twenties."_

"_You know her?"_

"_Yes, she's the Hyūga clan leader's daughter; Hinata Hyūga." _

"_Who cares about that." _Deidara snapped irritably, stuck between Hidan and Nagato. _"What the hell are we supposed to do, hm?" _

"_Lay low and enjoy life?" _

"_That's a crappy plan!" _

"_I think it's obvious the Shinigami is doing this for his own entertainment." _Tobirama noted dryly, his tail twisting behind him in annoyance.

"_There's not much we can do in this situation." _Kisame agreed as he enjoyed the view, half-hanging out of their small confinement. _"Maybe we should try… thinking outside the box?" _

"_Kisame?" _

"_Yes, Konan-san?"_

"_Never make a joke again." _

"_Ahahaha—OW, BASTARD!" _Hidan hissed when Kisame used his paw to smack him in the face.

"Now, now, stay nice to each other." Hinata shushed them when she noticed the ruckus among them. "We're almost there."

"_Madara, get your damn fur out of my face." _

"_I have a solution for that; why don't you try jumping out the box, Tobirama? More space for everyone."_

"_Not now, you two. The place is cramped enough as it is and I don't need you bickering like children as well."_

"_Mind your own business, Hashirama."_

"…_You're threatening to shove my brother out of the box." _

"_Your point?" _

"_Don't make me bring up Izuna–"_

"_You shut your mouth about my little brother. I'm not bringing up your pathetic granddaughter either, am I? Need I remind you I crushed her in half with one of _your _techniques?" _

"_I'm not going to fall for such a cheap taunt."_

"_Then what about your whore of a wife–"_

"_Madara!" _

"_Hashirama!"_

"_Oh my god, those two are like a married couple." _Kushina sighed internally as she leaned against Minato, who would've chuckled, but only an odd mewl escaped from him. They then finally approached a tall apartment which stood out from the rest as Satomi pulled out the keys to the front door from her mother's pocket, who had her hands full, and unlocked the door, letting Hinata through first. She put the box with kittens down on the ground as she closed her umbrella and pulled off her shoes while Satomi closed the front door behind them.

Hidan was the first to jump out of the box, nearly tripping over himself as he looked around, numerous foreign scents invading his nostrils. Everything looked so _huge _to them now, even the small child who happily pulled out the silent Nagato with a bright smile.

"We have the same hair color." she said with a giggle, as Nagato's purple eyes (no doubt left over from the Rinnegan he could no longer use) stared up at her with mostly indifference.

"Satomi-chan, bring them to your room, alright? I don't want any of them to get lost in the house." Hinata told her daughter as she retreated to what was no doubt the living room.

"Okay, mom!" The girl put Nagato back and snatched Hidan up who meowed loudly in protest (meanwhile letting out a string of cusswords) as he was put back into the box as well, toppling over Kisame who shoved him off with a huff. Their box was picked up again and they were moved, up some stairs, through a hallway which had pictures lined on the walls.

"_Oh, Naruto got so handsome!" _Kushina said excitedly, nearly bouncing up and down when they saw their son's picture as he had an arm around a pregnant Hinata.

"_He looks like a copy of you, sensei." _Kakashi said quietly as Minato felt fierce pride well up in his chest when spotting another picture with Naruto donning an orange cloak with black flames on the bottom, very similar to his own Hokage cloak.

"_Then this girl is our granddaughter! She's so cute, 'ttebane!" _Kushina declared loudly, peeking up at the smiling girl who opened a door. They found themselves in a bedroom with light pink walls, as she plopped the box down on her bed. The girl took a step back and stared at them thoughtfully.

"Hmm… I'll need to buy some cat food though." Now, Hidan made a second attempt at getting out of the box.

"_FREEDOM!" _he yelled as he jumped out, running so fast over the silk sheets that he slid off and dropped off the bed. _"NOOOOOOOOOO–" _he then exclaimed melodramatically as Satomi caught him with fast reflexes. To his surprise, however, she just put him back on the floor on his own two feet.

"Watch where you're going, silly!" she scolded him gently, then turned to look at the others. Then she blinked at the lack of action. "You guys are awfully calm for kittens." Glances were exchanged, and they all decided to get out the box. When they were all out, she took it and crumpled it, dumping it in a trash can located right next to a dark wooden desk and slim, tall closet. There was also a bookcase right next to the door, filled to the brim with various scrolls and books, and a kunai lingering on the desk as its blade glinted dimly in the sunlight. Accompanied by this kunai, were some papers. Satomi sighed when she laid eyes on them, then went back to study the kittens.

Both Minato and Kushina had a medium length fur, in their respective hair colors. Nagato looked a lot like Kushina, save for his light purple eyes and the short fur coat he had. Deidara was mostly yellow, but had darker stripes, and blue eyes, making it easy to separate him from Minato. Both Kisame and Konan had blue fur, though Kisame's was a darker shade than Konan's, and their eyes were different as well. Konan's were amber, while Kisame's were a light grey.

Tobirama, Kakashi and Hidan all had silver fur. The only distinct different between Kakashi and Hidan was the fact that Hidan had prominently purple eyes while Kakashi's were dark. Tobirama was far easier to distinct as the red markings he'd had as a human had stayed in this new form. His brother, Hashirama, had dark brown fur and brown eyes. Madara and Itachi, on the other hand, both had completely black fur though Madara's was the longest out of all of them—likening him to a lion with red eyes and gave him a fierce look. Itachi sported the same red eyes, though his fur was far shorter and slimmer, giving him a more graceful stature.

Minato wasn't planning on staying put, and instead walked over to the chair and desk near the window. He wondered if he could make the jump on top of the chair and the desk. He did have chakra, but it was absolutely minimal; nonetheless, he decided to give it a go. Kushina followed him, looking around the room as she was still amazed at how big everything was, as Kakashi accompanied her silently. Minato bent through his tiny legs, and made a jump. He managed to get on top of the chair with some effort, and after another jump crawled on top of the desk.

"Hey, what are you doing?" Satomi said with a frown, when noticing this. Minato looked up at her with big, innocent eyes, blinking and then staring down at the papers on the desk. It seemed to be homework for the Academy. Satomi, distracted by him, did not notice Hidan and Deidara slip out of the room.

"_I'm so hungry, Deidara-_chan_!" _

"_Shut up, asshole." _the striped cat snapped at him. The two halted in front of the stairs.

"_How the hell are we gonna get down this?!" _

Meanwhile, Itachi was staring up curiously at the numerous books lined inside the racks, as was Tobirama who sat on top of the lowest rack, pawing at a history book to try and get it out so he'd have something to do other than watching Madara snarl at his brother while they were still on top of the bed—to Satomi, they were only mewling loudly which distracted her.

"What's wrong with you two? Brownie, don't do that!" she scolded Hashirama when he slapped Madara's tail away from him, having nearly been smacked by it.

"_Brownie?" _Madara repeated sardonically and Hashirama hissed at him in annoyance.

At the same time Kisame was relatively bored as he took a walk around the room. Nagato and Konan were both happy with staying at the edge of the bed as they looked down at what the others were doing, until they heard a sharp meow coming from the hallway.

"_FUCK YOU, DEIDARA! JUST WAIT UNTIL I GET UP THERE!"_

Satomi quickly left the room, followed by a curious Kakashi and still mildly bored Kisame, while Minato looked over the answers Satomi had written down so far on her homework—pleased when finding out she had zero mistakes and they were very detailed and showed her intellect. Kushina whined at him to get down from there as she had tried several times to jump up but had failed.

Satomi looked down the stairs, seeing Deidara staring down at Hidan who'd toppled down and was growling and snarling while Deidara was internally laughing his ass off, his tail flicking around amusedly.

"Aw, poor baby, did you fall off? You should've stayed in the room!" Satomi said with a sigh.

Tobirama nearly got squashed by the book he'd tried pulling out of the bookcase, incidentally pulling down several at the same time, to which Madara chuckled internally at him—only to be shoved off the bed by Hashirama who then gracefully landed on his paws while Madara stumbled for a moment. Had he not been a cat he might've broken his neck. He glared at the Senju who ignored him, probably as a payback to the insult to his wife earlier.

Itachi managed to lift the opened and fallen history book on Fūinjutsu up slightly with two clumsy paws, not accustomed to using them as he tried to help Tobirama out.

Meanwhile Kushina had managed to get on top of the chair, and when trying to get on the desk, fell off again. Her claw hooked on Minato's tail—who let out a screeching yelp as he felt the sharp nails dig into it and pull him down, the two kittens plus the papers and single kunai on the desk falling off but the kittens miraculously landing on their feet. Satomi came rushing in with a content Hidan in her arms and blinked at the sudden disarray in her room.

"How do such tiny creatures create so much chaos?" she muttered to herself as she put Hidan down and first went to put the fallen books back in the bookcase.

"I'm home!" a sudden voice yelled through the house. Several of the kittens recognized that voice, though it was deeper than they'd ever heard it and certainly more mature.

Nagato and Konan hadn't moved from their spot on the bed the entire time and had witnessed all of this.

Both of them knew that somewhere in the afterlife, the Shinigami was laughing at their expense.

* * *

_That was the first chapter. Tell me if I'm doing it right? It's the first fic I put up on here so…? Feedback, maybe?_

_Oh, and the title of this story will be explained in next chapter. _

_The reason why I picked these characters is… well, just 'cause, I guess. Why not?_

_Put in the reviews any suggestions for the story! Scenarios you'd like to see? Pairings you'd want to see happen? Anything is appreciated!_

_Again, huge thanks to Cloud Traveler to helping me out with this! _

_I hope you guys enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. _


	2. The Founding

_Wow, honestly only expected like maybe one or two reviews at most._

_So, major thanks to_ _my wonderful Beta __**Cloud Traveler**__, __**The-Magical-Bookworm**__, __**The Source Behind the Shadow**__, and the two anons with the peculiar names of __**ohngirgoirnkdnoh**__ and __**Virgin boy**__. Also thanks to everyone who fave'd and is following this story! Much appreciated!_

_As promised, the title will be explained in this chapter. The other OCs will be gradually introduced, so as to not make the fic too overcrowded right off the bat. _

_Disclaimer: If I owned Naruto, then Obito would actually be using his Rinnegan right now._

_Enjoy._

* * *

**C.A.T.**

Chapter II  
_The Founding_

Satomi stiffened for a moment when she heard her father's cheerful voice boom through the house. Her pale eyes widened for a moment, considering her father hadn't been supposed to come home for another three days. Oh, but she certainly couldn't present herself in her current state; the formfitting black clothes dirty from an hour of training right after Academy lessons, her face smudged with mud and hair a total mess as it hung down in wild waves to her waist. With swift and methodical movements, she grabbed a comb with one hand as she fixed her rebellious strands, and pulled out two black hair ties from the single drawer attached to her desk. She saw the kittens watching her from the corners of her eyes, but ignored them as she tied her tomato red hair in two low tails at the base of her neck. She heard the soft murmurs of her mother and father as they were reunited once again, even if he hadn't been away for that long.

"Sa-to-mi-chan!" her father then called in a singsong voice, and she beamed, throwing away the tissue she used to wipe the dirt off her face and threw it in the trash can as she rushed downstairs. The twelve year old nearly tripped over the striped blond kitten—who, unbeknownst to her, called her a stupid bitch as he was rattled by the sudden movements—as the creature had been carefully descending the stairs. She didn't mind some of the other kittens following her as she nearly jumped the last seven steps down, spotting her father's orange cloak and with a tackle, threw herself at him as she hugged the tall man with a wide smile. He chuckled, patting her on the head.

"Hey there, little vixen." he said with a smirk, blue eyes as cheerful as always.

"You're home early, father. I thought you'd stick around after the Chuunin exams?" the girl asked, though not at all disappointed with his early arrival. It was a well known fact that the Hokage, Naruto Uzumaki, and the Kazekage, Gaara, were very close friends. They didn't see each other often and so she'd expected him to spend a day or two longer in Suna—unless there was urgent business in Konoha to take care of. She studied his expression curiously, but didn't ask about it. He'd dodge the question anyway.

"Ah, well, I guess I missed my kids too much." Naruto said with a smirk, pulling off his Hokage coat, Hinata taking it over from him.

"Lunch will be done in a few minutes, love." she informed him pleasantly, and he let out a relieved sigh.

"Thank god, I really missed your cooking." he muttered, planting an appreciative kiss on her cheek. "Suna has some fine shinobi, but the cooks are a completely different story. The ramen is so _dry _there, can you believe that?! Dry ramen!" he exclaimed as if it were a crime to humanity. Which to him, it probably was. "Anyway, I'm pretty sure I said _kids_. As in plural. Where's my cute little younger son?" Naruto asked as Satomi was clinging to his arm.

"He's visiting Shinichi-kun, and Sakura-sensei said she'd bring him back by six."

"What about your idiot older brother?"

"He's on a mission, but I figured he'd be home back now considering it was only C-rank and he's been gone since this morning. Though, since it was an escort mission, it could've easily escalated." Satomi determined quickly, letting go of her dad as she took a few steps back while he took off his shoes.

"Huh, déjà vu." Naruto mumbled, referring to the first C-rank mission he'd gotten when he'd been a genin, which had turned out to be A-rank instead. Satomi nodded with a smile, having been told that story before. Out of his three children, Satomi adored him the most. He was her role model, and she soaked up everything he told and taught her like a sponge—so much so that her progress was almost frightening. He could see the resemblances with Minato in personality, whereas his oldest had taken to be more like Naruto, and his youngest was more like his soft-spoken mother. Though Satomi was… well, a lot less _good-natured _than one would initially think. Not to say the little vixen was evil–

Naruto was briefly reminded of the time he'd found the poor Inuzuka girl, Kari, tied up and hanging from a tree from her ankles, as she had been there for almost two hours. When questioning Satomi about this, who did not deny for a second she was the culprit, his daughter had smiled sweetly at him and kindly informed him that likening her to a tomato was a derogatory term which could have severe psychological consequences in the form of lycopersicophobia (fear of tomatoes), and should not be taken lightly. Tomatoes were good for one's health as it reduced the risk on several forms of cancer, prevented blood cloths from forming in the bloodstream, and also helped reducing circulatory problems of the heart, brain and other organs. Thus, by giving such negative connotations to it, she could be deprived of a good diet later on in life—which would make her parents responsible for neglect. Who knows, she might even decide to sue them for it.

She was evil alright.

It took Naruto a few seconds to figure out what the hell that lycer-something-word even _meant_, and where the _hell _she'd learned it in the first place, and when the _hell _she'd gotten all that medical knowledge on the benefits on tomatoes (probably Sakura) before giving her a mild punishment in the form of community service; effectively calling her bluff. She might be a genius, but she was still too young to trick him.

His face paled as he wondered what she'd be like once puberty kicked in.

"Father? Are you alright?" she asked worriedly.

His face paled even more as he wondered what would happen once she got a _boyfriend._

He gripped her tightly by the shoulders, startling her for a second. "Satomi, promise me you'll be asexual for the rest of your life." he urged her—not for her benefit, but for the poor sod who actually ended up with her. For the benefit of all her male peers in Konoha.

Satomi blinked.

"That's quite impossible, father. I'm fairly certain my sexual preference for men has already been determined." Oh, those poor kids were doomed alright.

"Why couldn't you just inherit my stupid-genes?" She smiled and didn't answer his whine, instead opting to go help her mother with the sandwiches she was making. He sighed wearily, then finally noticed several pairs of eyes staring at him. As if in a generic horror movie, his head slowly turned to face the stairs, where he found a row of kittens staring at him with their wide, strangely intelligent eyes—and a pair of not-so-intelligent purple ones, the owner of which was busy attempting to maul a striped blond kitten—and he frowned.

"Satomi! What are these cats doing in my house?" he asked slightly freaked out by the little things. A red one with blue eyes hopped off the stairs energetically, running over to his legs and putting her two front paws on his right leg, staring up and mewling loudly. Somewhere, in the back of his tired mind something was tugging at him as the tiny, _tiny _voice of intelligence in his mind screamed the usual YOU'RE MISSING SOMETHING HERE YOU STUPID IDIOT.

He swiftly killed that voice with a sledgehammer as he picked up the kitten, cooing over how pretty it was.

"Oh, I found them in a box outside. Someone abandoned them." Satomi responded from the kitchen, the discontentment evident in her voice. Well, at least she was kind to animals and didn't mentally torment _them_.

"So you just brought them _here_?"

"I don't intend to keep all of them."

The subtlety in her words did not escape Naruto, who narrowed his eyes as the red kitten purred pleasantly in his arms.

"Are you sure you're ready to take care of a cat?"

"What kind of a que–"

"Without psychologically scarring them, I mean?" Satomi laughed as she came out of the kitchen carrying a large plate of sandwiches with all sorts of toppings in them.

"I sincerely doubt they're intelligent enough to understand any of my rants." she said with a smirk, though it faltered for a moment as she gazed at the sleek, black cat with the observant stare, then glanced at the yellow one next to it with the bright blue eyes which possessed a similar, but friendlier, attitude.

Both Naruto and Satomi knew these were no _ordinary _cats. For kittens they were far too silent, far too controlled in poise—though with a few exceptions.

"Maggie, stop hurting Stripes!" Satomi called at the silver cat with the violet eyes, which suddenly stopped and stared at her with an almost incredulous look.

Yes, definitely not ordinary.

"Maggie? How do you know it's a girl?"

"I don't. Maggie is a shortened name for magenta, the color of the eyes."

Stripes breathed weirdly, almost as if he were laughing. Both humans ignored this, though they filed the observation away in the back of their minds.

"They seem more violet to me." Naruto said with a skeptic frown as he stared at the violent silver cat.

"Depends on the lighting." Satomi responded with a shrug. "Are you coming to eat?" Naruto nodded, putting the red kitten down, which mewled loudly in protest, as he walked over towards the living room when his daughter suddenly shoved the plate of food in his hand and started walking towards the front door, grabbing her boots.

"Where are you going?"

"Buying cat food, of course. What else are they going to eat?" Satomi responded matter-of-factly.

"You're leaving me with them?!" Naruto exclaimed, pointing at the eerie row of kittens gazing at him. Satomi rolled her eyes.

"I'm fairly certain they wouldn't try to assassinate you in your sleep, father. Besides, mother is there too. All you have to do is keep an eye on them." She finished putting on her shoes, grabbed her raincoat and opened the door. "I'll be back in thirty minutes. Later!" she slammed the door shut behind her before he could protest, and he sighed, taking the tray with sandwiches to the dining room where his lovely wife was already waiting for him.

"I would like to say she takes to your side of the family, but I don't think that's the case." he muttered as the kittens followed him quietly, save for Stripes and Maggie bickering in the hallways. Hinata chuckled.

"Well, she does have _your _sense of humor, dear. You did often pull pranks when you were younger."

"I had a reason! _She's_ just plain evil." Naruto said with a shudder. "I think she may be more similar to Kurama than she is to my side of the family."

'_I heard that, you brat.' _There was a pause. _'And I think you may be right.' _The Kyuubi added with an amused tone.

The Rokudaime snickered at this, and began digging into his food while asking Hinata about how things were going with the family while waiting for their other two sons to come home—all the while, both of them were fully aware of the stares from the odd kittens, but neither showed to pay any attention to them. Naruto wondered vaguely if these could be like Kakashi's ninja dogs, which would explain the strangely intelligent behavior. But then again, his pack had been summons, so he couldn't see how it would make sense for ninja kittens to be away from their… location… thing… wherever it was they trained. He wondered if cats had a place like the toads had Mount Myōboku.

He'd have to think about it. For now, he was content with noting their strange behavior, and the ridiculous feeling of familiarity he felt with some of them.

* * *

Shikaro Nara resembled his father in almost every way imaginable. He was lazy, he was incredibly intelligent, and he thought women were the most annoying creatures in the world. The only thing father and son differed in was appearance. He had his father's figure, sure, but his mother's eyes, facial features and hair color. His blond locks were straightly combed, hanging over his forehead as they reached his earlobes, and his eyes were a dull shade of green.

So when the twelve year old saw Konoha's Vicious Vixen walk towards him over the muddy road left wet from the rain with a sugary sweet smile, his intellect told him he was about to get dragged into something troublesome, his laziness told him to keep on walking and ignore her, and his common sense told him to run like the goddamn wind because if he had to name the most difficult female in the world, it was without a doubt Satomi Uzumaki.

He was about to turn heel and pretend like he'd never seen her, when she set in a sudden sprint and nearly tackled him to the ground had he not caught her in the nick of time and taken a few steps back to balance the weight. He was lucky she was so light.

"Shika-kun!" she said in a melodious voice, reminding him of the Hokage who also always insisted on calling him that in that_ same exact tone_. She knew damn well it was annoying, which was exactly why she did it.

"What now? Another insane jutsu you want to try out?" he grunted, prying her hands off his back and taking some distance. The last time she'd had the idea of creating a lightning charged, bird-shaped attack with some suggestions of the Nara heir, which had ended up with Shikaro getting nearly electrocuted because of the insane lack of control on her part. While it did have an incredible reach, it was a B-rank technique which required perfect control and very high skill of the lightning element.

"No, no. I just need to go shopping." Satomi said cheerfully. It took Shikaro less than a second to figure out what her real intentions for approaching him were.

"Forget it." he huffed grumpily, turning his back on her and deciding to walk away.

"Oh? Then perhaps I should show your future teammates the unfortunate incident in the hot springs last week." Shikaro froze, slowly turning around. She smirked, a picture of him wearing one of Tiger's (Tiger being Rock Lee's apprentice) green jumpsuits after his clothes had mysteriously disappeared. He'd always suspected it to be Satomi, though he hadn't quite been able to figure out why since he'd never noticed her taking that picture.

Unlike Shikamaru, his son actually _did _care about his reputation. If the Akimichi heir, Cho, or the Yamanaka heir, Inohiko, got a hold of that picture they'd probably never shut up about it until the end of time. Of course it had already been determined they would be his teammates, what with the Ino-Shika-Cho formation. Cho and Inohiko were actually siblings, but with such radically different clan traditions between their mother and father, it had been decided the first born would be their father's successor, and the second born their mother's successor. It had been lucky Inohiko had been smart enough to be allowed to skip a year ahead, or the traditional formation would've been ruined. There was only one year of difference between them, so that made it easy.

"You're the devil." Shikaro shot her a glare, as a sign of defeat. She was faster and nimbler than him, plus she was too smart to fall for his signature jutsu when it would be too obvious.

Though he had to admit, had the victim been anyone else, he would've been highly amused.

Satomi gestured him to follow, and he resigned himself to his fate, walking through the mud as they strutted towards a local supermarket.

"What are you buying?" he asked offhandedly, hands in his pockets as she counted the money bills she had in her hand.

"Cat food."

"When did you get a cat?"

"A few hours ago. Someone had abandoned twelve kittens and put them in a box."

"_Twelve_?!" Shikaro exclaimed, baffled. "You're going to buy cat food for twelve cats and make _me_ carry all of it?"

"Oh, honestly Shikaro, do I look like the type to put you through that misery?"

"Yes." She pouted, and he didn't fall for it.

"Fine, but this time, I really just need a hand. Letting you carry it all probably wouldn't work anyway." She glanced over her shoulder. "It seems like they're set on stalking me." Shikaro frowned, following her look as both of the kids stopped walking. A yellow cat, a sleek black cat and a silver cat with odd, red stripes on his face stood still as well behind them, gazing up at them innocently.

"I'd say they might mistake you for their mother, but you're too cruel to be one." Shikaro drawled, studying the cats as they gazed up at the two. Their behavior was very strange; you'd imagine kittens to be more active and less intelligent than these three seemed to be. Ninja cats? Unlikely; how would they've ended up _here_? In a box? Twelve of them?

"Such flattery." Satomi said with a dreamy sigh, meant to be mocking. "Well, let's just go. They seem to be smart enough not to get themselves trampled." she stated, nudging him with her elbow as she turned around and continued to walk. Shikaro cast one last glance at the three before he followed her lead.

"I'm assuming you're giving them up for adoption later?" he inquired.

"Naturally, though I think I'd like to keep one or two. I don't want to send them off to the animal shelter, though. Who knows how long they might be stuck there."

"I probably already know, but how do you plan on getting rid of the rest of them?" The kittens were walking right behind them, almost as if they were listening in on their conversation. Quite frankly, it was creeping Shikaro out.

"Guilt trip or blackmail people into taking them off my hands, of course."

"Yep. Shouldn't have even bothered."

"_You _will help me with this too." Satomi stated as they walked into the store, Shikaro about to grab a shopping cart when he stopped and gaped at her.

"What?"

"I need someone to sort out the people eligible for adopting a cat. I can't just hand them over to random villagers. Preferably someone we know. Classmates, relatives, close friends—whomever you think will be happy with them."

"Why don't you do it yourself?" Shikaro asked with a scowl as he proceeded to steer the shopping cart through the supermarket. Satomi chuckled.

"I have better things to do with my time, you know. You should be flattered; I'm trusting you with the lives of these cute little creatures."

"You're so melodramatic." Shikaro said, rolling his eyes.

"You're so easy to blackmail." Satomi shot back with a gentle smile, which only hid the cruel amusement she got out of it while she put the kittens inside the shopping cart.

Shikaro sometimes wondered how he'd ended up being this insane girl's best friend.

Oh, wait. She blackmailed him into doing that as well.

Well, at least she'd gown on him over time; to such an extent, even, that he'd gotten used to it. It was part of his daily routine now, even if he still had the occasional urge to strangle her until her face turned purple. Satomi hopped on the shopping cart, her feet on the steel bars connecting the little wheels below as she gripped the metal basket with her hands, her back pressed against it.

"Onwards to the cat food section, Shika-kun!" she declared, pointing a finger in front of her, and Shikaro groaned, pushing the shopping cart forward. The kittens seemed content inside the shopping cart, glancing around every now and then, though mostly sitting quietly.

They quickly found the food for the kittens and loaded them in.

"Shikaro, I've been thinking–"

"Well, that's never a good sign, is it?"

"–and I believe we should give a name to our charitable little act of finding these poor kittens a place called home."

"And so Saint Satomi has spoken."

"Oh, hush, and come up with a name."

"How about Satomi's Evil Witch Project To Humiliate Shikaro?"

"The acronym is too silly." Shikaro sighed, staying silent for a moment as he thought of a name while pushing the cart alongside the cat food section—Satomi's deft hands quickly picking out several bags and dumping them in the cart while the kittens got out of the way. Something with a nice acronym, then? It took him about one entire second to come up with something.

"Cat Adoption Team; C.A.T." Satomi looked over her shoulder to him and shot him a genuine smile.

"This is exactly why people call you a genius. I'm sad we won't be in the same team together once we graduate." Shikaro looked away with a frown, praising his lucky stars he wasn't prone to blushing. He'd always been no good with compliments. "That's settled then! Can you start thinking of people to give cats to? We should _definitely _give one to the Uchiha household. They're so gloomy, so one or two might help them smile a little more, but they'd also take good care of one."

"Right. What about Nakamura-san?"

"Which one?"

"Does it matter? They live together." Shikaro said with a shrug. Satomi frowned as she put her I'm-concocting-a-devious-plan-which-will-make-Shikaro-miserable-face on.

"Didn't your mother like cats?"

"Oh no."

"In fact, I think I heard her talking about it just the other day."

"Oh _no_."

"Wouldn't it be the best just to have a few little kittens running around–"

"No, no, no, no, _**no**_." Satomi got off the shopping cart as they approached the cash register, pouting her pink lips and her eyes saddening, tears glinting in the corners. Shikaro groaned, as he couldn't stand seeing women cry—even if he knew Satomi was faking it. Satomi gripped the front of his shirt tightly.

"Please, Shika-kun? Do it for me?" He tried not looking at her face, but eventually couldn't help but glance. Oh, he really couldn't stand that heartbreakingly sad, puppy-eyed expression.

"Fine, fine!" he relented, if only to make her stop. She smirked, wiping the tears away and letting him go. "I'm surprised you aren't just blackmailing me into it." he huffed.

"I simply enjoy making you squirm." she replied with a mischievous glint in her eyes as she finally got the turn and paid for the cat food, starting to put it into bags. Shikaro pushed the shopping cart back to the entrance while she did this, first pulling the kittens out and placing the cart back, then walking to Satomi and grabbing two bags, lifting them up as they were surprisingly lighter than he'd expected. She had to carry only one and they left, making small talk as they walked towards Satomi's house with the kittens in tow.

When approaching, however, they heard yelling and cracking noises, hurried footsteps as if someone was running.

"That can't be good." Shikaro noted dully, as Satomi quickly pulled out her key and opened the front door. She blinked when seeing the mess inside.

* * *

"GET BACK HERE!"

Hidan sprinted as fast as his kitten legs could carry him, ducking under the coffee table in the living room as the angry Uzumaki brat who had killed Kakuzu chased after him, claw marks all over his face and neck. Kisame was snickering as he sat on top of the coffee table Hidan had just ran under, while the others were all scattered around the house. Kushina mostly followed Naruto around, while Deidara had found a comfortable spot on the couch and was lazing on it. Itachi, Tobirama and Minato had left to follow Satomi to the supermarket. Meanwhile Madara was sneering at Hashirama who wanted to try jumping on the dining table in one shot.

"_As if that's going to work." _

"_Will you shut up and watch?"_ Hashirama snapped, his patience wearing extremely thin by now as he stared up to the table. If he could just get his chakra, or whatever was left of it, channeled to his feet, it should be easy enough. However, he was completely unaccustomed to this animal body and had trouble directing the chakra flow.

"_Tsk tsk, someone is grumpy."_

"_You killed my granddaughter, tried to take over the world with an insane plan that started the Fourth Shinobi War, revived the Juubi to do it, and called my wife a whore. Sorry for not being cheerful for once." _

"_I thought you were over all of that?"_

"_Well, no. I can't see how anyone could ever be over the fact that their former best friend plotted for world domination."_ Hashirama grumbled, taking a few steps back as he kept his gaze locked on the table. _"I just didn't bring it up before now because I figured if we were going to be stuck with each other for an eternity, trying to claws each other's brains out wasn't the best way of going at it." _

"_Whatever_." Madara brushed it off languidly. Hashirama stopped and stared at a moment.

"_If we were in human form right now, I would crack your skull open with a chair for that."_

"_What? What did I do _now_?!"_

"_You don't just whatever me, Madara! _

"_What. Ever."_

"_I swear, if you say that one more time–"_

"_Whatev–"_

Hashirama jumped on the table in one go and Madara's jaw dropped.

Then a plate came crashing down on top of him.

"_You_ _son of a bitch_!" Madara screamed from down under the large bowl, being entirely trapped under it. He heard Hashirama laugh from above, when suddenly a weight pressed down on him before he could try lifting it off. _"Get off the goddamn plate, Hashirama!"_

"_How about… hmm… no?" _

"_I will kill you_!"

"_Say please and I may consider it."_

"_GO TO HELL!" _

Hidan zipped out from under the coffee table and ran across the living room, towards the hallway. Hinata sighed as she watched this, sitting on the couch with Deidara curled up on her lap and purring contently. Nagato was sitting next to her and Konan was surveying the room, mainly watching the Madara Bowl move around as the kitten under it furiously yelled at Hashirama to get off, who was far too amused to let that happen.

_"This is going to end in disaster."_ she sighed, her gaze shifting to Kisame who seemed a little aimless.

"_Perhaps. At the very least, this is a chance to redeem ourselves."_ Nagato responded quietly, staring at the pictures of Naruto and his family lined on the walls. _"He hasn't changed one bit."_

"_Maybe matured a little_." Konan mused, watching the blond man yell at Hidan who'd hidden under a tall bookcase. _"…Just a little."_

"_Yes. He grew into a fine man."_ Nagato agreed, then sighed. _"I just wish we could've seen Yahiko again before this happened."_

"_We will, one day." _Konan said with a reassuring nudge. _"That is, of course, if the Shinigami deems us worthy." _

"_I'm not so sure I am." _Konan frowned inwardly at this.

"_Nagato–" _

A loud crash mate Hinata jump up from the couch, Deidara promptly dropping off her lap onto the coffee table with a loud cuss, as Naruto had tripped over the Madara Bowl and landed right into the bookcase, which had fallen over right on top of him.

"Naruto!"

"_Naruto!" _Both Kushina and Hinata had exclaimed at the exact same moment.

"_Yep, same blond idiot as always." _Kakashi added dryly as he watched his former student curse and angrily shove the bookcase off of himself. At the same time, Satomi came rushing in and when spotting the damage, facepalmed at the mess. Kisame sauntered over to Hidan, who was laughing his ass off, and stared at him.

"_You realize you're at the mercy of these people, right?" _

Cue the realization of a major fuck up.

Kisame shook his head as Deidara snickered at Hidan's usual impulsive idiocy.

"_H-hey, brat, I didn't mean it!"_ Hidan mewled at Naruto, trying to act cute while the blond Hokage fumed at the kitten. _"We're cool right? Even though I tried murdering you with the bookcase? I mean that was totally accidental–" _

"_You BASTARD!" _Kushina jumped on top of him and started clawing at him. _"Don't. Ever. Hurt. Him. AGAIN, 'TTEBANE!" _

"_K-Kushina, dear, calm down–"_

"_Don't tell me to calm down, Minato! This guy needs to get his ass kicked!" _

"_GET OFF ME YOU CRAZY BITCH!"_

"Brownie, what are you doing on that bowl?" Satomi asked, bending down to pick up Hashirama.

"_Wait, don't–" _Hashirama tried, but she didn't listen and removed the bowl. Madara seemed to spring to life as he jumped up and looked around, then spotted Hashirama in Satomi's arms, a murderous glint in his eyes.

"_You'd better hope that girl never puts you down, Senju, because the moment she does, I'm skinning you alive!" _

"_Big words from a little kitten." _Hashirama berated unimpressed.

"_Hashirama!"_

"_Madara!"_

"_Stop it already!" _Tobirama snarled at the both of them, having had just about enough of their stupid rivalry.

Itachi was the only one who stuck with Shikaro, standing next to him as the boy gaped at the chaos in the room with the bag of cat food still in his hand.

"I agreed to adopt one of _these _psycho kittens?"

Itachi mewled in confirmation. Shikaro glanced down at him.

"Are they always this crazy?" the boy asked to the cat on a random whim. Itachi blinked.

"_You have no idea."_

* * *

_That was it for today, I hope you enjoyed and review, and merry Christmas to all of you!_


	3. New Homes

_Major thanks to the following people who were kind enough to review: __**Cloud Traveler, **__**udntned2no, **__**SereneButterfly23**__**, The Source Behind the Shadow, mdnstjohn, Simplicity Fan, Nashika Tashika **and** bluey2001**!__  
_

_Also, I finally had the bright idea of making a list of characters so far introduced at the suggestion of a few reviewers, so you guys don't get confused. Just open my profile in a separate window and you'll find all the info you need there, of both the cats and my OCs, with a little extra trivia._

_Anyway, here's the third chapter. The plot should be right around the corner. _

_Considering the progress in the latest Naruto chapters, consider this fic even more AU than it already was._

_Enjoy._

* * *

**C.A.T.**

Chapter III  
_New Homes_

Kazuhiro Uchiha would like to think of himself as a nice person. He always helped little girls get their cats out of trees, aided the elderly by carrying their bags for them, cleaned his room when asked without any complaints, was always respectful towards adults and had a smile to give to everyone.

However, when he spotted the red hair in the distance, a fair skinned hand waving at him, and recognized the Uzumaki girl, he turned around and _ran_.

"Kazu-kun!" she called after him, and he winced as he sprinted as fast as his feet could carry him, slipping through alleyways and zigzagging through the village in an attempt to lose the Vixen. "Kazuhiro!"

Wait, why was her voice coming from the sky?

Oh, shit.

Death from above.

He spun around—too late—and she tackled him to the ground, the two rolling over the road as she came out on top, sitting on his stomach with a far too sweet smile. Kazuhiro groaned, hiding his face in his hands. The last hundred times this girl had wanted something from him, it had always ended up with Kazuhiro getting into trouble. The last time she'd asked him to help find a lost puppy, which had somehow resulted in him having accidentally stolen Sakura's panties.

Yeah, he had no idea how _that _had happened either.

Meanwhile, a few kittens had followed Satomi out of the house after the chaos had been dealt with (namely Naruto locking the troublesome cats like Hidan and Deidara in a closet). Madara had decided to get out of the house, as did Itachi, Kakashi and Minato. They stared at the two kids, one of them unfamiliar at first, until Madara found the almost eerie resemblances with his brother, Izuna.

The boy with the long, messy, ink black hair he kept tied in a low ponytail at the base of his neck, pushed the girl off of him with an annoyed grunt, getting up from the ground and wiping the dirt off his pants. Yes, the hair was almost exactly the same, as was the face. Even the distinctly full lips were present. Madara wondered about this, thinking back to what the Shinigami had said about reincarnation. When the boy looked up, however, his eye color startled him. They were a shockingly azure blue hue; certainly not the dark eyes Uchiha tended to have.

"What is it this time?" the boy huffed, seeming to already dreading whatever she had planned for him. Satomi merely smiled.

"Say, you like cats, don't you?" Kazuhiro scowled, eyeing her suspiciously.

"Yeah, I suppose. What of it?"

"See, I discovered a box filled with twelve poor, unfortunate kittens who were abandoned in the middle of the pouring rain–"

"Are you in need of a sad violin? Because I have the feeling something is missing here." Kazuhiro stated dryly, crossing his arms as Satomi frowned slightly as she then turned around, swiftly picking up Minato at random, and holding him up to a startled Kazuhiro's face.

"Look at those eyes!"

"Er…."

"Would you say no to this cute face?"

"Uh, n-no, but–"

"Would you have me hand them over to some abusive old man with a short temper who kicks them and yells at them every day, Kazuhiro-kun? Does that sound right to you?"

"No! But I can't just… just randomly take some cats home on a whim!"

"A whim? The lives of these precious little creatures are just a _whim_ to you?"

"I-I didn't say that!" Satomi looked at him accusingly, and he looked from the blue eyed cat back to the pouting girl.

"You know, they say karma is a powerful thing. If you refuse these poor kittens… well, who knows what could happen to you tomorrow?"

"Is that a threat?"

"Oh, dear me no. I would never threaten my comrades." Satomi cooed innocently. "It's just a… prediction, if you will."

"…_No offense sensei, but your granddaughter is evil." _Kakashi mused.

Minato just sighed and shook his head while the other two Uchiha merely observed.

"_She's alright. For an Uzumaki, that is." _Madara replied dryly.

"Fine." Kazuhiro then sighed, preferring not to get on Satomi's bad side. He reached for the blond kitten, but she quickly pulled it back, pressing him to her chest.

"Not this one!" she exclaimed. "_I _want to keep this one. How about you take Shadow and Moonshine?" she then suggested, gesturing to Itachi and Kakashi. Though Itachi was happy with his cat name, Kakashi wasn't sure what to think of it, other than that it sounded like something you'd name a female cat. Shikaro really wasn't the most creative when it came to names.

Kazuhiro stared down at them with a skeptic look. "They're not going to kill me in my sleep, are they?" Satomi rolled her eyes, putting Minato back down.

"You should be happy. Out of the bunch, those two are the quietest." Satomi declared, picking the two up a little roughly and shoving them in Kazuhiro's arms.

"H-hey, wait a minute–" the boy protested, not sure what to do with the two kittens who were staring up at him. Where Madara saw similarities with Izuna, Itachi saw similarities to Sasuke. Then again, Izuna and Sasuke did look like each other as well.

"You're such a good person, Kazu-kun! Thank you for helping me out, I'll see ya during class!" she said with a wave, turning around on her heals and marching off while whistling a tune.

"Uzumaki! I swear to god I'll–"

"Karma, Kazuhiro-kun! Karma!"

"…Evil witch." He sighed as she skipped away, followed by the blond cat and the other black cat, and he looked down at the two kittens he'd suddenly adopted. "How the hell am I going to explain this to father?" he mumbled, putting the two down on the ground as they stared up at him attentively. He frowned slightly. "Well, I guess it's too late now. My brothers are going to chew me up for this though."

* * *

Shikaro stared up at the apartment of Hotaru Sarutobi. He knew the woman very well, due to his father having been her mentor when she'd been a kid—something about his dad having promised her dad something. In turn, Hotaru had always helped him out when he needed it and helped him with basic training or motivated him when he couldn't bring himself to working. He turned around to look at the red and blue cat who'd been eerily silent and composed the entire time. The red one—in actuality one of the most fearsome criminals in history—he'd named Strawberry because… well, red fur. The blue one he'd named Princess.

He took a step forward and with a sigh knocked on the door twice. It took a few seconds, but soon enough it opened to reveal the Jonin instructor who seemed particularly cheerful today. The woman had short, spiky black hair going barely past her earlobes with a blue hue and crimson, one-ringed eyes, inherited from her mother's side of the family, as well as a fair skin-tone. She was in her casual clothes today—a short green dress and high heels. He figured she'd probably planned on going out that night.

"Oh, Shikaro-kun? What brings you here?" she asked, evidently surprised at seeing him there. Shikaro rubbed the back of his head, feeling a little guilty knowing he was about to ruin her plans for that evening. He glanced behind him to the kittens who were patiently waiting. "Hmm?" she turned to look where he was staring at and her eyes widened at spotting them.

"Well, you see, sensei, I was wondering—"

"Oh, they're adorable!" she exclaimed with a wide smile, walking over and kneeling down, her dress revealing the dress-matching green panties she was wearing as she didn't care to properly adjust her dress.

"Aaah, s-s-sensei, your dress—" Shikaro exclaimed, not comfortable with having his sensei's panties _in full view_ while he covered his own eyes with a red blush. Hotaru-sensei wasn't stupid, but she was so incredibly indifferent to nudity and the like that she could almost be described as an exhibitionist at times, were it not for the fact that she didn't do it on purpose. Even so, after all the times he'd accidentally seen her naked he still wasn't used to it.

Now just take a second to imagine Nagato's reaction when confronted with such exposure of (small) undergarments.

"_Just… just look away!" _Konan hissed awkwardly, turning her head to the left while Nagato stared fervently at the ground—even though the bright green color in his peripheral vision was highly distracting—which in turn confused Hotaru somewhat, but also, instantly tipped her off. The way these kittens were just sitting there, looking around and apparently avoiding staring at her underwear, was certainly not normal. Any ordinary kittens would've just wandered around, reacted in a more notable way to her presence, perhaps even scurried at the sight of a stranger. Not these two.

She stood up again and faced her pupil—who was still covering his eyes—with a grin. "Now, now, Shikaro! No need to be so embarrassed!" The young Nara slowly lowered his hand, breathing out in relief to see his sensei wasn't in such an awkward position any longer.

"Honestly, sensei, aren't you afraid people may start accusing you of being a pedophile? You can't just keep exposing me to that sort of stuff. I'm just eleven." Shikaro remarked dryly, making the woman laugh as she slapped a hand on his shoulder, nearly making him trip.

"Of course I'm not afraid, because I'm a woman! We just have that unfair advantage in society, so we can get away with it!" Shikaro sighed.

"…You shouldn't be so casual about it, you know. Besides, you're creeping me out."

"Hey now, I'm just joking. Of course I would only ever date a _real _man!"

"Ouch." Shikaro glanced at the kittens, who seemed more relaxed in their posture now, though they were giving them weird stares. Well, with a sensei who had such liberal views on sex and nudity it was to be expected. "Anyway, the reason I came here, well, those kittens need a home and I thought maybe you'd be willing to adopt them?" Hotaru gazed down at the kittens thoughtfully, leaning against her doorframe.

"Sure, why not! I guess I'll have to cancel on Haruka-chan though—"

"You were planning on going out with my sister?"

"I _wish_, but, Shikaro-kun, you know she's only into men, right?" Shikaro facepalmed and Hotaru laughed again, Nagato and Konan entirely confused on where this conversation was going.

"You don't need to flaunt your bisexuality in my face every time I visit, you know." The Sarutobi gasped with a fake-offended look on her face, putting her hand over her mouth.

"I do no such thing! Though, if you could get her to have just _one _date with me it would be very much appreci—"

"I refuse."

"Aw," she whined disappointedly, though hiding her smirk behind her hand, then staring down at the cats again. "Well then, about those kittens; what are their names?" Shikaro turned around to glance at them for a moment.

"The red-haired one is Strawberry, and the blue one is Princess."

"Oh? Both females?"

"No, Strawberry is a boy."

"Hmm? Who checked their genders? The vet?" Shikaro scowled, glaring down at the ground, and Hotaru started laughing uncontrollably, realizing it was in fact Shikaro who'd had the displeasure of checking it. Well, she'd been meaning to ask, but that explained the numerous claw marks on his arms and sides of his face. "Let me guess, Satomi-chan set you up to it, didn't she?"

"…Yes. Freaking sociopath, that girl. It was very unpleasant." he grumbled.

"_Unpleasant for _him_? He wasn't the one who had his genitals looked over by a small child." _Konan snorted, clearly agitated. Though it wasn't certainly as bad now since she was only a cat, she still felt almost violated. Nagato couldn't say he'd been quite happy either, though it wasn't as bad since they'd been the same gender. Most of the guys had been relatively placid, figuring it was best to get it over with as soon as possible, and Kushina had of course wreaked the most havoc until Kakashi had calmed her down (Minato himself hadn't interfered at all with his wife clawing at the boy's face when he'd tried to lift up her tail to check, instead just hanging by at the side and watching).

"Well, that certainly explains a lot. You were never too friendly with animals after all, right?" Hotaru said cheerfully, walking over to the two kittens, leaning down, and scooping them both up in both her hands, both pressed against her small chest. Konan remained timid, indifferent to her situation, though watching Nagato trying to not be squished against the woman's left breast was a little comical, given the situation.

"So you'll adopt them?"

"Sure! The house gets a little too empty at times anyway. Might be nice to have some animals running around and liven up the place." Hotaru said with a shrug, though she probably wouldn't have been as ready to accept them had she not noticed their strange behavior.

"Thanks, Hotaru-sensei. You sure saved me a lot of trouble." Shikaro told her with a genuine smile.

"No problem kid. Oh, and do try to grow a spine, will ya, or Satomi will completely run you over when you're older." She paused for a moment. "Maybe in more ways than one—"

"_Sensei_!"

"Bye, now!" She slipped back inside her apartment, chuckling at Shikaro's embarrassed look, slamming the door shut behind her with her right foot. The young Academy student frowned, turning back around and leaving the same way he came.

"Stupid perverted women…."

* * *

Satomi was out again, having left Minato back at home, and though still accompanied by a rather bored Madara, she'd also picked up Hashirama and Tobirama as well—the former and latter of which were, of course, bickering over something again. Satomi had no clue what they were mewling about in the background as she made her way over to a tall house near the gates of Konoha, but she'd noticed enough of their behavior to determine these were no ordinary cats. She'd have to read up on feline body language, but she was certain no ordinary kittens would've been able to follow her so deftly through the streets. To test this she'd intentionally made sudden turns and had quickened her pace of walking at times—and they'd seemed perfectly capable of following her.

The only answer to this she had in her head was that these might be special ninja kittens or something of the sort that had gotten lost, akin to the Inuzuka clan's dogs, for example. She didn't know why anyone would discard such useful animals, but she was planning to make full use of them herself. While she did feel a small pang of sympathy for the kittens for being abandoned, their usefulness was far more important to her than anything else.

Either way, even she had to admit that handling more than two cats at the same time would be a bother. After the Academy she spent time on personal training, after all, which meant usually she only came home around five or sometimes six o'clock in the afternoon. If she were to train two kittens, that would no doubt take out another huge chunk of her time every day, leaving another hour for studies and maybe two more for personal leisure.

In the end she'd decided to go with "Sunny", which would be Minato, and "Pepper", which would be Kushina, though Satomi had no clue of that, of course. She'd immediately noticed, when she'd picked up the box and had afterwards let them wander around in her house, that these two seemed exceptionally close. Keeping them together would probably be the best idea in the long run.

The reason for her fervent studying in the first place was because, from an even younger age, she'd already understood how much of a standing her father had in the village. People admired him everywhere he went for his accomplishments, and it wasn't just because he was the Hokage—rather, she knew, he was Hokage _because _of his past accomplishments—and she'd known, that if she were to ever leave his shadow, she'd _have _to grow into an extraordinary kunoichi. No, not just extraordinary—she'd have to be, without a doubt, the strongest shinobi in the entire village. Women were already at a disadvantage from a combat standpoint simply for the fact that they were women, so Satomi had double the obstacle to overcome compared to her brothers. Yet this made her all the more determined to reach a level of greatness where no one, not from the past nor the present, would be able to touch her.

After that, no one would compare her to her father any longer. No one would see her as just "the Hokage's offspring" anymore. They'd realize she was her own person and her success had nothing to do with her father. She would stop being "the middle Uzumaki child". She'd stop being "Hinata's cute daughter".

She'd finally be Satomi.

"Satomi Uzumaki." The red-haired girl spun around, the kittens having been silenced with the new presence, and was surprised to see a person she hadn't expected.

She'd initially been walking towards the Nakamura household, hoping to talk to the younger resident of the two, but instead had run into her older sister instead.

As it was, the two girls had been living in Konoha for about nine years now. They'd been found near the gates on a rainy day—the oldest, Asuka Nakamura, cradling the _seemingly_ dead body of her sister, Senna, both covered in blood and Asuka trembling, tears streaming down her face despite the murderous look in her eyes. Their clothes had been torn up and tattered, and they'd only managed to save Senna's life barely as they'd immediately rushed the two girls to the hospital. Asuka having been better off out of the two of them had apparently explained the situation to Naruto at the time, and they'd had been granted stay. No one else knew of their story.

"Asuka-san!" Satomi was indeed surprised to see the elusive woman address her so directly. The twenty-nine year old was not known for being a social butterfly, to put it mildly, though she wasn't exactly a complete recluse either. She'd take regular walks around the village but avoided most contact with other villagers—making others often perceive her as being arrogant and having too big of an ego to make friends. Satomi wasn't sure _what _to think of her, but she had to admit, the cold look in Asuka's sharp, golden eyes was off-putting to say the least. Otherwise the woman had a pale skin with long, thick black hair that fell down to her waist in waves, and she was taller than most other women in the village.

"It's rare to see you wandering around in these parts. What are you up to?" Asuka spoke, immediately cutting to the chase as she stared down at the three cats with her sharp gaze, narrowing her eyes to see none of them looking away and instead staring back silently.

"Ah, well, as you can see, I have these three in my care and I was looking for people who, um, might be willing to…." Satomi trailed off watching Asuka approach the kittens who didn't move at all, as she leaned down to observe them more closely. Satomi didn't know why but she started getting a little nervous. Which was ridiculous. It wasn't like she was doing anything wrong.

"So you wanted to coax my sister into adopting these three, is that right? Well, it's no secret she loves animals." Asuka noted, straightening her back again and crossing her arms, not removing her eyes once from the small felines.

"Pretty much." Satomi admitted with a shrug, not even bothered by the phrasing of that, implying she was some sort of cunning door-to-door-saleswoman who sold you all the worthless crap she could to get it off her hands. But hey, they should be happy! Ninja animals weren't exactly cheap!

"They're certainly not your regular kittens." Asuka noted, grabbing the black one by the back of its neck and lifting it up. "Red eyes, huh? That's highly unusual." She muttered as she stared at the fluffy cat, which then let out a low growl.

"Oh, er, Asuka-san, Majesty doesn't really like—"

"I beg your pardon?" Asuka interrupted her with a mild frown. Satomi blinked twice, a little flustered with having that piercing gaze aimed at her.

"That's his name. Majesty." Asuka arched one sharp eyebrow while she stared at Madara who was getting increasingly aggravated by being manhandled by a _woman_.

"_Furball_ would've fit him better, if you ask me." The woman sneered derisively. While Hashirama and Tobirama were having a laugh at his expense down on the ground, Madara lost his patience and lashed out with a loud snarl, attempting to claw at the woman who quickly dropped him to the ground. Satomi was surprised; Asuka not so much. "As I thought…." she muttered quietly.

"Huh?"

"I'll take them in." Satomi was left completely dumbstruck at this strange exchange. Asuka spared her another indifferent glance before she turned her back on all of them and started walking towards her house. She briefly looked over her shoulder to the cats. "Follow." she stated coolly, completely ignoring Satomi's existence, who stood there and watched them walk away for another ten seconds before sighing a little dazedly, turning around and walking back to her own house where she'd meet Shikaro again.

"Strange lady."

* * *

"_What_?!" Shikaro exclaimed an hour later while Satomi sat on her bed, Pepper taking a nap on her lap while Sunny was curled up against her leg next to her, though he was listening to the conversation intently. Shikaro was sitting on the chair against Satomi's desk, initially having been looking over her homework assignment for tomorrow, but then having been shocked at her pretty much _ordering _him to take home the remaining three kittens next to Sunny and Pepper (which was fine with both of the kittens; Minato and Kushina would've much rather stayed with their granddaughter and their son than being shipped off to a stranger's home).

The remaining three kittens being Hidan, Deidara and Kisame, respectively called Maggie, Stripes and Fang. Shikaro didn't have a problem with Fang, as he seemed to be incredibly calm most of the time; but Maggie and Stripes were no doubt going to be the death of him. The two didn't seem to get along at all, and _of course_ Satomi would dump the most troublesome ones on him.

"Come on, I'm sure after a little bit of training they'll behave in no time!" Satomi said giving him a bright smile which he knew was only because she was imagining the torture that awaited him in her head.

"You're a demon, you know that?"

"Don't be silly, Shika-kun. Demons don't exist." She smirked. "There's only me!" Shikaro groaned, letting his head fall down on her desk. "Well, are you going to take them or would you like to see your picture in the morning's newspaper tomorrow?"

"Why do I keep coming back to you?"

"Well, it's possible you're a masochist, or perhaps you keep telling yourself that it will get better next time and that I'll _change_. You know, like a battered wife who keeps going back to her abusive husband."

"Ugh. Just… just tell me where those three are." Satomi smiled serenely and pointed to her closet. Shikaro frowned, getting up from the seat and walking over, pulling the closet door open, finding a bag.

A moving, growling bag.

"Are you INSANE?!" Shikaro exclaimed, reaching over to open the bag at first when he realized the cats would probably attack him first.

"Oh, don't worry; Fang was a good boy so he's downstairs on the couch. Maggie and Stripes are the only ones who are in the bag." Shikaro still seemed rather disturbed. "Don't worry! They can still breathe! Um… I think…."

"You _think_?!"

"Well, if they didn't, they would've just torn the bag open a while ago, right? I'm sure it's muffled in there but they're in no danger of suffocation."

"How do you know that?" Satomi rolled her eyes, gently picking up Kushina to remove her from her lap, standing up, and putting the red cat back down next to Minato. It was incredible progress that they'd managed to find new homes for them already; they'd found them just yesterday, after all. In this time, a few things hadn't escaped Satomi's notice.

For one, the kittens didn't seem to like the cat food and preferred human food , most of them were far too composed for kittens, with the exception of the two in the bag, though they were also overly aggressive. Not to mention the strange meows they made sometimes, almost as if they were talking to each other, and the responses they had to human conversations, seemingly able to understand them. There were no ordinary cats. Just the other day, hadn't Brownie managed to jump on top of the dinner table with just a little bit of effort? For a _kitten _that should've been impossible, yet he'd pulled it off somehow.

"I think we both know that these aren't just your regular cats, you know." Satomi remarked dryly, walking over and lifting up the bag which had calmed down a bit.

"I suppose you're right." Shikaro mumbled, taking over the bag from her and making sure to keep it at arm's length in case the kittens decided to bust out. Meanwhile, inside the bag, neither of the two men-turned-felines knew how to manage their tiny claws, and instead of figuring out a way to escape, they took out their anger on each other.

"_How the hell did you let that stupid brat catch us, yeah?! I told you that hallway was a dead end, but you were like, noooooo, it's alright, Deidara, trust me, Deidara, we'll escape in no time, Deidara!" _

"_HEY! I didn't hear you coming up with any good suggestions either, you asshole! Don't try to put the blame all on me!"_

"_IT'S YOUR FAULT WE GOT CAUGHT!"_

"Hey, calm down in there!" Shikaro snapped grumpily at the bag as he carried it downstairs—Kisame, who'd been hanging out on ground floor, staring up at him expectantly and creeping the poor boy out somewhat.

"Well, I guess I'm stuck with you and you're stuck with me, eh?" Shikaro sighed, turning to say a quick goodbye to Hinata who spotted him leaving, and though she looked concerned, she smiled and watched the boy leave, a blue kitten trailing behind him while two of them were stuffed in a bag.

Hinata closed the door behind the boy and sighed. Sometimes, she couldn't help but worry about Satomi's future. Sure, the girl was a genius and a hard worker at that, but it didn't seem like she cared for friendship much. In fact, usually, she simply utilized it to take advantage of people—anything to further her own benefit. Hinata resolved to have a long chat with her later; she couldn't keep treating her friends so poorly, after all! If only she'd been more social, like her older brother.

Speaking of which, he should've already arrived from his mission. Hinata chewed on her bottom lip as she walked back into her living room, pondering for the safety of her eldest and hoping everything would turn out alright in the end.

* * *

Meanwhile, in the afterlife, things weren't going as smoothly as before. The Shinigami was starting to neglect his duties; more and more souls wandering around, waiting to be purified or sent back into the realm of the living—too much for his subordinates to handle on their own.

These subordinates, by the way, were called _Kageoni_—Shadow Demons. Back in the day, they used to be spirits of men, refusing to move on into the afterlife, so tainted by their past crimes that their very soul had become black with sin, corrupted to the very core. Everywhere they went they corrupted the souls of the living as well, to the point where an imbalance between the amount of souls in the afterlife and the amount of souls in the living realm was created. There should, at all times, be an equivalent exchange taking place to keep the stream of reincarnation going, but with these corrupted Kageoni interfering, they held more and more human souls back, until the Shinigami himself saw it fit to interfere.

He turned the Kageoni into his servants, taking them out of the stream of reincarnation, thus solving the problem. Every now and then one would pop up on earth and would be instantly transported to the realm of the dead where all Kageoni roamed, doing most of the Shinigami's work of purifying the soul with the special blades they'd been granted in his stead.

But even demons like the Kageoni had noticed that the Shinigami had been slacking off lately. Their demonic powers had several decreased over time, but some of the more rebellious ones saw an opportunity to escape. Now the Shinigami was preoccupied with watching the human world, they might just get away and wreak havoc on the realm of the living once again.

So they gathered as far away from the Shinigami as possible. While they couldn't summon portals on their own, if several of them combined the remnants of their powers at the same time, they should be able to pull it off.

They were nasty looking demons, gathered around in a circle. They were as black as shades, like the name would imply, the only visible things being their glinting yellow eyes. They looked vaguely like humans, but their limbs were incredibly deformed, resting in awkward angles and often much longer (or shorter) than what would fit the size of their torso. They could stretch or shorten at will, determine their own size, blend in with the environment—once in the human realm, they'd be near impossible to track.

In hushed tones they whispered the incantations to summon the portal, gathering their strength together, and soon enough, the ground almost seemed to split open, bright light shining through the cracks as it formed into a large hole—and so they escaped, and the Shinigami was none the wiser.

* * *

_(Pretends like she hasn't been gone for over three months)_

_The plot thickens!_

_Hope you enjoyed it!_

_Maybe leave some feedback?_

_Later._


	4. Promise of a Lifetime

_**Bitchz-B-Tripping, The Sours Behind the Shadow, Shadow the Ranger, Kiss of Time **__and __**Azarra **__are all super-fucking-awesome for taking the time to review. Thanks guys! Also thanks to everyone who fave'd and decided to follow the story!_

_Enjoy the next chapter!_

* * *

**C.A.T.**

Chapter IV  
_Promise of a Lifetime_

"Sushi-sensei, tell this crazy person to get off me before I die from asphyxiation, please."

"Ma, Shika-kun, if I were choking you, you wouldn't be able to speak!"

"Sushi-sensei, aforementioned crazy person is still _attempting _to deprive me of oxygen. I may have to report you for neglecting your duties if you don't get her off me."

"You're so cruel, Shika-kun!"

"I pale in compari- S-Satomi- I can't- would you… s-stop-"

"Come again? It's kind of hard to understand you while I'm strangling you, you know. You should be more practical about such things, Shikaro-kun. Maybe try writing it down before you pass out?"

Atsushi Aburame prized himself on being extremely patient. There were not many people as patient as the bald man who always hid his eyes behind his typically Aburame-esque, round, black sunglasses, wearing a bandana covering his head, the metal plate with the Konoha symbol engraved on it integrated in his bandana instead of being just a regular headband.

'_Just one more day, Atsushi,' _he'd told himself when he'd woken up that morning. _'It's their graduation day today, so all there's left for you to do is announce the team formations, give them the damn headbands and then, FINALLY, kick them out.' _

As suspected, Konoha's V9 wasn't about to let him off easy just because this was their last day in the Academy.

(He vaguely wondered about the several cats sitting in front of the windows outside and staring at the spectacle with curiosity, but he was too distracted by dodging a flying textbook to care.)

Do you know why this particular class is called "V9", my dear reader?

Satomi had by now moved on to annoying Kazuhiro after she'd been done choking Shikaro to near unconsciousness under the guise of a celebratory hug during graduation day—mainly because Shikaro had actually dared to ridicule her for putting her newly received Konoha headband around her neck.

Yes, I just shamelessly broke the Fourth Wall and no, the V doesn't stand for vagina, you dirty-minded person.

"Come on, that's a really stupid place to put your headband. It's all loose like that and would be annoying to wear during battle." Shikaro had told her, his own headband around his upper right arm.

"My mother used to wear hers like this." Satomi responded with a shrug. Shikaro, not having realized this was one of her rare, sentimental moments, said something uncharacteristically stupid.

"Your mom wasn't very smart, was she?"

Satomi had then smiled slowly at him.

"Give me a hug, Shikaro."

"W-what?"

"Give me a hug. We both graduated with high grades. We should celebrate this, and what better way to celebrate than through a pleasant hug between best friends?"

"…You're going to strangle me, aren't you?"

V stands for Volcano, actually. Yes, you got that right. Volcano-9. The class is relatively quiet now, believe it or not. The random textbook Atsushi had to dodge was just put there for the sake of having a random textbook flying through the class. Anyway, that's all my input for the rest of this chapter before the story implodes on itself.

As mentioned before, Satomi had moved on to Kazuhiro while Shikaro was catching his breath, the Uchiha boy eyeing her suspiciously, but couldn't find a route to escape. He sat on the bench right next to the window, and she'd switched seats with Inohiko Yamanaka so he had nowhere else to run. He turned his head away from her, staring out the window in an attempt to ignore her and hope she'd go away—instead staring straight at a black, sleek cat who was silently staring back at him.

"Shadow?!" he hissed in panic at seeing his newly adopted kitten just sitting there, having stalked him to school as if kittens did that kind of shit _all _the time. Shadow (Itachi) flanked by another black cat with long hair which Kazuhiro did not recognize (Majesty, AKA Madara) on his right and a dark blue kitten with grey eyes on his left (Fang, AKA Kisame).

"Huh, they must be really bored if they came all the way over here to watch us." Satomi remarked, leaning over Kazuhiro's lap to tap on the window, getting all the kittens' attention as the three had been distracted by an Inuzuka girl throwing a temper tantrum at a boy with a bowl cut (Madara snorted as he was strongly reminded of Hashirama's ridiculous hair when they'd been kids) who'd accidentally made her trip.

"Do you know how much humiliation I'm going to have to endure from my brother now because of you?" Kazuhiro snapped at her with a scowl. Satomi looked up at him innocently.

"Hmm? Whatever did I do, Kazu-kun?" she said in a sing-song voice, Kazuhiro feeling a vein pop up on his forehead.

"Don't try to act innocent!" he exclaimed, remembering his older brother's words from last night.

"_What the hell? You got duped into adopting two kittens by a little girl?! Holy shit, that's priceless! Are you retarded or something? Hahaha, wow, I can't believe you let her walk all over you! You're not even sexually mature and you're already whipped!"_

"Well, if you really didn't want to adopt them you should've just said so… but they haven't caused you any problems yet, have they?"

"No, I guess not… but I still don't trust it! Why would _you _care about animals?" Satomi leaned back into her chair as she chuckled.

"You're making me seem like some sort of evil witch." She half-heartedly shifted her head to the right, dodging a pen that had been aimed at her head by Shikaro who was glaring at the back of her head, seated behind her. Satomi just ignored him for the moment and looked at Kazuhiro instead, smiling lightly. "You can always count on animals to be genuine. They're a lot more likable than humans, if you ask me. We always tend to complicate the simple matters and simplicate the complex ones.

"The ones who scream about their morality and honesty the loudest are the most immoral and dishonest ones. Don't you think that's comical? How could I ever take humans seriously? That's why… I don't think they're worth my sympathy. But animals are different." There was a long silence as Kazuhiro just gaped at her, not having expected her to be so straight-forward with her thoughts for once.

"Simplicate is not a word, idiot." Shikaro suddenly called loudly; though he only did this because he was already more than used to these little rants Satomi sometimes went on. He knew her best, after all.

"Now it is." Satomi replied sweetly, throwing her eraser over her shoulder at him which hit his forehead before he could dodge it.

"Wait, so you mess around with other people because you can't take humans seriously?" Kazuhiro concluded with a frown, not sure if he understood what she meant. Satomi gazed at him with a blank look.

"Of course not. You asked why I cared for animals, not why I messed around with other people. You could say your conclusion is a logical one, but the real reason I mess around with other people is because it's fun! Do I need another reason?"

"You're… I have no words."

"I'll take that as a compliment." She smiled sweetly as Atsushi-sensei called for their attention again, announcing he was going to put them into their respective teams now. Satomi turned around in her seat to Shikaro, who'd been thinking the same thing. It seemed like everyone thought it was a given that Shikaro would find his best friends in Inohiko and Cho from now on—but he didn't need them.

Even if she drove him insane sometimes, there was no one on the world he had more fun with than Satomi, and no one who understood him better—and as well as she knew him, he knew her. For all her intellect she didn't know how to handle something as fragile and, at the same time, strong as human bonds. She bit on her lip with an insecure smile.

"Promise me we'll never—"

"—grow apart." He reached out his hand to her. Their pinkies intertwined. "Promise of a lifetime, right?" Satomi stared at him with wide eyes, then beamed as he smirked back, and she nodded.

"Yeah."

"_Oh, they're so adorable!" _Kushina cooed, paws on the window as she'd watched it all play out.

"_Is the Shinigami expecting us to laze around all day and watch these kids grow up?" _Kisame wondered, hopping off the window ledge onto the grass, having grown bored with watching a classroom full of brats. Hidan was also on the ground, crouching low with his tail flicking back and forth as he eyed a bird a few feet away.

"_You're not catching that." _Deidara remarked from the shade of the tree nearby, lying on his back as he lazed around on the warm spring day.

"_Watch me, asshole." _Hidan growled, which translated into an actual cat growl, which alerted the bird. "_FUCK!_" He set in a sprint, though it was futile and the bird escaped, flying high and far out of his reach.

"_Loser."_

"_YOU—"_

The other "kittens" (all were present minus Konan and Nagato), were instead paying more attention to the classroom than what the two idiots on the ground were fighting about. These kids would be the future of Konoha, after all.

"Team 13; Satomi Uzumaki, Kazuhiro Uchiha and Aika Sarutobi—"

_'Lucky number.' _Satomi peeked at the timid girl seated at the front of the class. Her brown hair was tied into two braids, and she had large, doe-brown eyes—only adding to the shy and reserved nature she had. Why she'd wanted to be a ninja was beyond Satomi; she didn't exactly have the best grades. With Kazuhiro's average ones, Satomi's excellent ones and Aika's weaker ones it balanced out quite nicely nevertheless.

" Kazu-kun, I think we know who the medic-nin in our team is going to be, huh?" Satomi said softly to her newly appointed teammate, who seemed to be sulking and didn't respond. "What's with you?" she asked curiously.

"I got stuck with the most troublesome ninja in the existence of _ever_. That's what's with me." he huffed, half-heartedly listening how (very predictably) Shikaro, Inohiko and Cho were put into the same team as well.

"Oh, get over it."

"And lastly, Team 15; Tiger, Kari Inuzuka and Noburu Aburame. That concludes it!" Atsushi let out a sigh of relief after adding where each team was supposed to meet with their new teacher, and sent them all off on their way.

Satomi shot a glance at Shikaro (the blonde having been told to meet their sensei right outside of school grounds). The boy looked back at her for a moment, before he was dragged away by a far too eager Cho. The chubby, exuberant girl dragged both her teammates away with much fervor.

The classroom slowly drained, as Satomi's team had been told to stay in the classroom and wait. Kazuhiro leaned back comfortably in his seat, while Aika stood up and approached them nervously. Satomi unabashedly looked her over from head to toe.

"Yo," Kazuhiro greeted her with a smile, setting the girl more at ease, though Satomi's disparaging gaze was still nerve-wracking.

"Hi," Aika replied nonetheless, though she was clearly out of her comfort zone.

"Well, while we're waiting, let's have a chat." Satomi suddenly stated, leaning forward with her elbows on the table. She stared up at her new teammate. "Sarutobi-san, you're undoubtedly the weakest link in our group." Aika blinked, her eyes then casting downwards with a slightly hurt look. "I haven't paid much attention to you during our classes, so I want you to tell me your strong points and your weak points. I already know Kazuhiro's."

"Oi, no need to be so harsh." the only boy scolded, though Satomi ignored him.

"W-well, my strong points would be bukijutsu and chakra control. I'm not really that good in anything else."

"Perfect," Satomi replied pleased, "then if you don't want to be a burden to our team, I suggest you start taking lessons in medical ninjutsu and refine your skills and diversity in weapons. Neither I nor Kazuhiro are the slightest bit interested in that, but having a medical-nin on our team would be useful."

"_Woah, she's harsh." _Kisame noted amused.

"_I like her." _Madara said, seeming a bit more interested now Satomi was taking charge of the team. Both Kushina and Minato were less pleased.

"Hey, what's up with you?" Kazuhiro snapped, getting frustrated with Satomi's bossy attitude. "You could've said that a lot nicer."

"You won't get anywhere with being _nice. _If I'm not upfront with her now she might blow it for the team later in a mission where things like that matter." Satomi leaned back into her seat again, her piercing gaze meeting Aika's eyes. "I have no use for worthless teammates. Make sure you train hard, Sarutobi-san."

"Satomi! "

"Would you rather have her jeopardize the team's safety through her incompetence?!" she snarled at Kazuhiro, losing her temper at her judgment being questioned. "This isn't fun and games, Uchiha! Someone could _die _if one of us screws up!"

"We won't be getting missions that dangerous for at least the first month! You're being needlessly hurtful!" Kazuhiro retorted angrily, Aika caught in the middle of the two bickering already and not sure what to do or if she should even respond.

"We will." Satomi said ominously, expression darkening. "I'll make sure we will. I have no time to waste on petty things like cleaning someone's garden. My father is the Hokage. I'll convince him, and he already knows of my capabilities. He'd be a fool to waste such potential on D-rank missions."

"_That girl is quite the ambitious one." _Itachi murmured, foreseeing trouble in the future if someone didn't reel her back in. Her intentions were good, but ambition _this _zealous could easily grow into a dangerous obsession. These were the same thoughts Minato had, but he could hardly communicate and would only hope Naruto would pick up on this behavior before it was too late.

* * *

"I'm hoooooooome!"

Hinata looked up from the magazine she'd been reading when hearing the voice of her eldest child after the front door had been opened. She immediately stood up, a wave of relief washing through her, and hurried with quick steps to the hallway, seeing her son pull off his shoes and jacket.

The fifteen year old boy had shoulder-length, spiky blond hair with dark eyes—Kushina's eyes, Naruto had remarked one day—having inherited most of his traits from his father's side. He was tall for his age, but moreso lean than buff, and was often cheerful and gentle.

"Welcome home, Kaito." Hinata greeted him with a smile, kissing him on the cheek.

"Mom, don't tell me you were worrying again? I'm a Chuunin, ya know! I can handle myself!" Kaito said with a pout, looking around the house. "Where's Satomi and Yukio?"

"Yukio is upstairs, and Satomi is still at the Academy. It's her graduation today."

"What? Seriously?! Aw, I totally forgot!" Kaito exclaimed, walking over to the stairs to go and greet his brother. "By the way, mom, can we eat ramen today? Please?"

"Of course—"

Something caught Hinata's eye. It had just been for a split-second, but as Kaito stood on the steps of the stairs, the shadow cast by the light above him seemed… strange. For a moment Hinata had thought she'd seen something glinting there—eyes? Yellow eyes? Was that even possible?

"Mom?" She blinked, a little flustered, and all the peculiarity of the shadow disappeared—almost as if it had _noticed _her noticing _it_. Kaito stared at her questioningly.

"Did something strange happen while you were on your mission, dear? Something strange?" she couldn't help but ask, a red flag going off though she couldn't tell why and what it was that exuberated danger. Kaito frowned slightly, scratching the back of his head.

"Well, during one night it suddenly got _really _cold and I had a nightmare, but it happens sometimes, right?"

"Y-yes, you're right… it's probably nothing." Kaito smiled and hurried up the stairs, not a care in the world.

"Yuuuu-kiii-oooo!"

Hinata stayed still, pondering the foreboding feeling in her gut. _'A nightmare…?' _She wondered what this meant. Or maybe she was just imagining things? Right. Probably her mind running wild again. A cup of tea would do her good.

A shadow was lurking in the corner of the room.

* * *

_Somehow I thought I'd posted this chapter earlier but apparently I didn't. _

_Well, here you go! This one was short because the next chapter will be entirely about Team 13's graduation, them meeting their sensei, etc, etc. So I kind of had to cut it off here. _

_Reviews are appreciated!_


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